Noise and Clamor

It often feels like my head is so crammed full with words and thoughts that I don't have clarity on anything. Nothing rises above the clamor. Some nights I lay in bed, my mind churning and chewing, wishing I could flip a switch and just turn my brain off!

This lack of clarity can make accomplishing much of anything difficult. I can't focus or concentrate. I can't keep my mind from flitting from one thought to the next like a hyperactive butterfly fluttering from flower to flower. (Can butterflies be hyperactive?)

I much prefer the days when my little brain is firing on all cylinders - plowing efficiently through work and multitasking with ease. I like checking things off lists - a sense of accomplishment with each check.

As I type this my mind keeps trying to recall the lyrics to the Steven Curtis Chapman song Be Still and Know. I look the lyrics up and these words speak to me now:

Be still oh restless soul of mine
Bow before the Prince of Peace
Let the noise and clamor cease

Restless.
Noise.
Clamor.

That has been me of late, restless with a mind full of noise and clamor. I suppose that has been me over the last year, which is why I haven't blogged as much. Too many words, thoughts, things, tasks, worries, lists, activities... Too. Much.

I long for peace. I long to be still. I long for clarity. Please Lord, quiet my soul.

I'm putting this out there, hoping to find I'm not alone. Do you have days (or weeks, or years) like this?

Contentment: On Endurance

I was recently reminded about the difficulty of maintaining contentment while enduring trials.

Two years ago I was reading my bible while doing research for a devotional on spiritual deserts. Tears slowly dripped down my cheeks as I read...

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.
~ Romans 5:3-5 (NLV)

Our life was full of stress and worry. Winter weather caused endless problems and the winter blues were hitting me hard. The economy caused my husband's job to grow ever more challenging, and our finances soon followed. I experienced a number of health issues that caused me stress.

I was pretty much hanging on by a thread. I was angry and uninterested in my life. My habit was to get home from work and just sit on my couch and wallow in a funk. I was not myself and there did not seem to be an end in sight.

So I cried as I read that trials develop endurance and thought, “I’ve had enough of endurance. Enough. I don’t know how much more I can take. Surely some day there will be a reprieve. Enough, God, enough!”

In my wiser moments, I could acknowledge that God had brought me joy in spite of – and even because of – my trials. I needed only to remember the past to see how God had used each problem.

Even when I'm armed with that knowledge, it can still be difficult to see past the junk that clutters and distracts me from God’s peace and contentment. Suffering tries its best to be a contentment stealer and it will succeed if I am not careful. Contentment is not an easy thing to attain and hold on to. It’s difficult and challenging. And being content doesn’t mean that life is perfect and problem free. Remember Paul, he had contentment in every situation - good and bad.

I notice in this passage in Romans that confident hope comes after trials, endurance, and character. This isn’t my favorite journey to take and I have experienced plenty of sorrow and failure, but it does have a purpose. Suffering does not have to be empty. It does not have to be in vain. If I endure, if I keep my focus on God and what he has done for me, I will not be disappointed.

Salvation allows us to have hope. Confident hope. A hope that does not disappoint. I’m not talking about a fleeting hope that focuses on the temporary, but about a hope found solely in God. Hope based on God’s love and sacrifice for us.

There is no room for discontent in that kind of hope!

I have a measure of contentment now that I did not have two years ago. My circumstances haven’t changed much since then, so what is different? The answer is a hard-fought change in my attitude with much prayer and correction from God. My ability to endure has grown. My character has matured. And most importantly, my relationship with God has deepened.

I can have confident hope while my husband’s job continues to be unstable year after year, and while dealing with long term infertility and the likelihood of being childless forever. Yes, I can have the confident hope of salvation in spite of all this (and more) because of God's love and mercy.

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This post is the 3rd in a series on contentment:
Part 1: The Secret of Contentment
Part 2: Contentment: On Failure and Hope

Give thanks to the Lord

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good!
     His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to the God of gods.
     His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to the Lord of lords.
     His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to him who alone does mighty miracles.
     His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to him who made the heavens so skillfully.
     His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to him who placed the earth among the waters.
     His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to him who made the heavenly lights –
     His faithful love endures forever.
the sun to rule the day,
     His faithful love endures forever.
and the moon and stars to rule the night.
     His faithful love endures forever.

~ Psalm 136: 1-9

Happy Thanksgiving, my friends!

Dried out {living water}

Jesus replied, “Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again. But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.”
~ John 4:13-14

The ground was dry and parched, thirsting for rain. I noticed my flowers had started withering in the heat of the summer and I vowed to remember to water them that evening. Unfortunately for my plants, my thumb is not green in color. My poor little plants - I aim to keep them thriving and healthy but I am thrilled when I don’t kill them completely. My best intentions fall prey to my wandering focus.

Eventually I remember to care for my plants: watering, weeding, pulling off dead flowers, and clearing fallen sticks and leaves. How much easier would it be if I kept up with these things in order to keep my flowers at their healthiest?

The same is true for my spiritual life. I had been reading at least one chapter of God’s Word almost every day for quite a while, but the last month has been hit and miss. I can tell that my heart is thirsting for more. Not the dehydrated thirst of an unbelieving heart that tries to quench its longing with worldly things, but the craving of heart that has experienced growth from Jesus' living water and now feels stagnant.

I know what to do to begin that growth again: spend time with God, read His Word, pray, and mediate. Life gets busy and yet one more thing falls prey to my wandering focus. But I know this is one thing I cannot allow to slip away. I must get back on track.

Dear Father,
Thank you that your mercies are new every morning. Forgive me when my focus strays from you. Draw me ever closer to your heart, and bring me into a deeper relationship with you. Help me be a light to those around me, always displaying grace and compassion.
Amen.

Have you experienced this same thing? What do you find helps you get back on track towards spiritual maturity?

Leadership

I’ve never considered myself to be much of a leader or to have much in the way of natural leadership qualities. Imagine my surprise and apprehension when, in the last few years, God called me to begin learning how to be a leader. I think I’ve come a long way in this, but I certainly have an even longer way to go. As in, I feel I’ve only scratched the surface. I often feel completely unqualified, overwhelmed, unworthy, and downright afraid. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve felt paralyzed by fear…fear of messing up and hurting others.

I don’t even want to put this out there. But I feel that it’s something that God wants me to pray about and work on. It’s one of my areas of Growth for 2011.

I was reading in 2 Corinthians recently and was struck by a few things. In chapter 6, Paul talks of his hardships. What stood out to me was Paul’s positive attitude, despite many hardships, mistreatment, and opposition. “We serve God whether people honor us or despise us, whether they slander us or praise us. We are honest, but they call us impostors (2 Corinthians 6:8 NLT).”

I am by no means a pillar of faith like the apostle Paul. I would love to have just 1% of his spiritual strength and wisdom. But it comforted me to know that people treated even Paul poorly. In the instances where people have wrongly judge my intentions or meaning, I usually feel defeated and deflated. I flounder, wondering how I could miss the mark so completely when I'm pouring out my heart. Yet I misstep at times, I make well-meaning but poor decisions.

Enter defeat.

But what I realize in my more confident and clear-headed moments is that, even when I fail, I truly am seeking God’s heart. I may have the capacity to make a mess of everything, but thankfully God has the capacity to make me more. I am relieved to know that God is completely in control.

The other thing about leadership that is excruciatingly difficult for me is confrontation. The thought of having to confront or even discipline someone...well, just shoot me now. Having said that, I try to address issues that I feel are important right away. Waiting to address problems is often the reason they become negatively confrontational. Kindly bringing up issues early on avoids a lot of bad feelings. I’ve been on the receiving end of small issues becoming serious confrontations simply because they lingered for so long. I don’t want to put anyone else in that awkward situation, even though I still dislike conflict.

Paul sent his first letter to the church of Corinth knowing that it would cause them pain for a while. He regretted sending it until he heard that it cause them to repent and change their ways. Paul said in his second letter that their sorrow was the kind that “God wants his people to have, so [they] were not harmed by [Paul] in any way. For the kind of sorrow God wants [them] to experience leads [them] away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow (2 Corinthians 7:9-10).”

Wow. Paul didn’t have assurance that his first letter would be well received, but he wrote it anyway. And he rejoiced, not that it hurt them but that it caused the church to change for the better. What a great way to look at confrontation. What a fabulous thing to aspire to – being able to address issues with love and humility that will cause people to turn from sin.

And oh my, what a weight and responsibility.

Can I take a rain check on this one? Oiy.

The End of Jealousy

My best friend’s mom was in liver failure. I watched as Laura flew back and forth from Maryland to Indiana time after time to be with her mom in the hospital. Day after day, week after week, Laura gave me updates on her mom’s progress. Better one day – and she would come home. Worse the next – and she would consider flying back. She took weeks off work and eventually arranged to work remotely.

Laura was also dealing with a challenging second pregnancy. I normally felt a sting of jealousy about a friend’s pregnancy. I tried to fight against the envy and resulting bitterness, but it was a constant challenge. This one situation was a catalyst of drastic change for me.

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Will you join me on Held to read the rest of this post? Oh, thank you!

Awesome Quotes

When you pray, rather let your heart be without words than your words without heart.

~John Bunyan

More and Less

I had to pull the car off the road for fear of crashing into a tree or running off the winding road. The tears were falling hard and fast, leaving hot red tracks down my face. I let the sobs come as I put my car in park, allowing the grief to just be for a moment.

Dear Lord, why won’t you take away this desire if you will not fulfill it? It isn’t a bad desire. It isn’t selfish. After all, you fulfill this for most people. Why won’t you let me be a mom?

After a few minutes, I got out of my car and opened the back door so I could reach the box of tissues. Blotting my wet face I prayed,

Please change my desire, Lord. I know you can do that. You can change the desires of my heart (Psalm 37:4). I can’t take this anymore. I’m so alone. None of my friends or family understand, and I don’t hear your voice. Where are you?

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Will you join me on Held to read the rest of this post? Oh, thank you!

The Donut Connection

Did you know that the devil knows what kind of donuts I like? He does.

One day, in the midst of a making other bad food choices instead of going to God with my issues, I went in search of a donut. I had heard via the office grapevine that there was a box of sweet donuts down the hall.

Did I need a donut? No.
Was I hungry? No.
Was I going to eat it for no good reason? Yes.

I walked down the hall and looked in the donut box. Behold!

The only thing left was a strawberry frosted donut! I ♥ strawberry frosted donuts. I snatched it up and took a bite, anticipating the tender sweetness. One more clue that I should not have eaten it – the donut was stale. As I was eating this stale donut, I wondered if it was all a set up.

Could the devil possibly know what kind of donut I would find irresistible? I would say this is proof that he does indeed. The devil comes to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10a). He wants to break me down physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

How can I still be surprised to realize that the devil has been working hard to challenge my weight loss efforts? That should be a no brainer by now. I was made for more than this struggle with, and reliance on, food.

Jesus, on the other hand, came to give me a full life (John 10:10b). He wants to build me up with the amazing hope and power that comes from him alone (Ephesians 1:18-19).

There is a connection here that I need to be better at making. Tempting sugary donuts promise to fulfill me and the devil tells me that food can manage to do that on a level far above what is logical – even though it feels logical in the moment of extreme craving. Cravings that are a result of stress, sadness, boredom, and more. The connection I need to chase after, the one that is truly fulfilling, is a deeper and more meaningful relationship with God.

Today, instead of being the lies whispered to me when I am feeling defeated and worthless, I will believe what God tells me I am.

I am a daughter of the King (Romans 8:15).
I am a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17-18).
I am free (Romans 8:1-2).
I am holy (Ephesians 1:4, Colossians 1:22).

Friday Five

I'm going to do something a little different this week for Friday Five. I want to share five posts from a blog I found recently that I think is fabulous called Practical Theology for Women. I hope these words bless you the way they blessed me.

1. For Moms, Former Moms, and Wannabe Moms

Excerpt:
"Motherhood is not the greatest good for the Christian woman. Whether you are a mom or not, don’t get caught up in sentimentalism that sets it up as some saintly role. The greatest good is being conformed to the image of Christ."

My thoughts:
The church often falls prey to the assumption that motherhood is THE highest calling of a woman, thereby making all women who are childless feel less than. Motherhood is certainly a high calling, but God's highest calling for us is that we be women after his own heart. God does not honor mothers over non-mothers.

2. Counterintuitive Words of Comfort for the Hurting

Excerpt:
"As far as we know, Job didn't know until heaven what all was going on behind the scenes...I am beginning to see that the primary point of long periods of silence by God during our earthly sorrows and suffering is that we show His worthiness of our belief and trust based fully on who He is and not on what things He gives us...The truth is that true faith doesn't worship God because God is good but because God is God. We don't endure because we expect deliverance but because He is worthy...The other truth is that for no one in Scripture did that season last the rest of their lives."

My thoughts:
There are so many good thoughts in this post. It reminds me of one of my favorite worship songs, The Desert Song. The bridge of the song says:

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

During a particularly difficult year, I would sing this song, and especially the bridge, over and over again as a prayer. Dear God, my life is really messed up and hard right now. I don't get it at all. But you are still God and that means you are worthy of worship, even if you do not deliver me.

3. Authentic Confession

Excerpt:
"The thing that most often undermines sincere confession is the 'yes, but' mentality. Especially when it's 'Yes I did that, but you said this about me.'"

My thoughts:
I don't know about you, but I have certainly done this one. I try to own up to my mistakes, but I know that I fail at times. Let's face it, saying, "I'm sorry, please forgive me," is less than fun.

4. Wisdom Verses the Law on Women's Issues

Excerpt:
"She pointed out Christians' confusion at times over the difference in wisdom and law, Proverbs and the Ten Commandments. There are no opposite laws, but we are all familiar with opposite proverbs...Wisdom is not law. And wisdom is only wise when applied correctly in the right situations. You can't read Proverbs the same as the 10 Commandments...The answer to our fears of moral relativism as we apply wisdom in ways that are actually wise is the indwelling Spirit."

My thoughts:
This was a really interesting post! I love the comparisons of biblical wisdom verses law. Very interesting indeed.

5. Helping the Hurting

Excerpt:
"Silence, even if your motive is well-intentioned, can be the most hurtful response of all."

My thoughts:
If you are hurting right now, there is comfort in this post. You are not alone. If you have a loved one that is hurting, there is real and practical advice for you here.

Identity?

A few years ago I found myself asking the same question over and over again. Who am I if I am not, and never will be, a mother? My identity had gotten almost entirely wrapped up around my infertility. I was allowing it to rule.

God slowly showed me that I need to find my identity in him and in what he says about me. That began a beautiful journey of discovery that made me a much stronger and more self-assured woman.

My friend, Thelma, is writing a series on this at Held. Will you join us in this journey of discovering our identities in Christ?

Series Introduction: Lies and Truth

Tucked Away

I collect bible verses.

I have them saved on my work and home computers. I have them printed out and placed on my work desk; posted to my work bulletin board; stuffed in my bible and wallet; and various other places. I have references underlined in books and devotions, and scribbled on scraps of paper everywhere. My bible is full of underlined passages.

I also have them tucked in my heart.

Sweet words of love and encouragement.

If I go up to the heavens, You are there;
If I make my bed in the depths, You are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
If I settle on the far side of the sea,
Even there Your hand will guide me,
Your right hand will hold me fast
~ Psalm 139:8-10

Hard words of truth mingled with grace.

So if you are suffering according to God's will, keep on doing what is right, and trust yourself to the God who made you, for he will never fail you.
~ 1 Peter 4:19

Wise words of instruction and guidance.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger.
~ Proverbs 15:1

Do you have a favorite bible verse tucked away in your heart?

Friday Five

1. Today is Good Friday. Can you imagine being the disciples, wondering, What just happened?! Jesus, he’s the Messiah, and he just died? That can’t be right! They didn’t know what was coming on Sunday. And Sunday changes everything.

2. My fast was over on Monday, and you better believe I ate that éclair. I’m happy to report that I actually haven’t gone hog wild with desserts and diet Coke. And that is a relief, since I often do go hog wild after a fast. What do you know, God must really be learnin’ me some stuff!

3. I have a date with the clutter in my house today. As far as dates go, I’ve had better. Just sayin’. My husband also wanted me to have a date with all the leaves in our yard on Saturday. The coming rain saved me from that one.

4. I found a helpful new website this week - Grammar Girl. It’s great (other than the annoying pop-up ads). I was looking up the difference between i.e. and e.g. for a document I was working on when I found Grammar Girl. I then went on to read about quotations (so often misused).

And then I found this little gem about the interrobang (scroll down to the subheading Surprising Questions), which, by the way, my spell check tells me isn’t a word. Oh, but it is! I know you are probably wondering what an interrobang is. I shall enlighten you. It is a combination of a question mark and exclamation point, since using the two together like this “?!” is technically incorrect. An interrobang looks like this “‽”. Awesome, right‽

5. I made a zucchini dish last night for dinner. I cut the zucchini into thin strips and then sauted them with some diced onion. Next, I added some minced garlic and diced tomato. I served it with some minced fresh basil and freshly shredded Parmesan cheese. It looked delicious. We took a bite and made a face. The zucchini was so bitter. It was inedible! I had manged to buy at least one really bad veggie. Oh, the disappointment.

Jesus Loves

When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing. Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”
~ Matthew 26:43-46


Jesus took his last steps as a free man walking toward his betrayer and the cross. He did that for you and me. Christ suffered for us so that we may have victory through him who defeated death!


Dear Lord,
Thank you for your loving sacrifice. I have a hard time understanding what you went through for me. It's overwhelming. Thank you.
Amen.

Jesus Accepts

Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”
~ Matthew 26:40-42


We all know weakness, don't we? I certainly do. Even when I want to do right things, I end up messing it up. There are times when I wrestle with the same situation or circumstance over and over. Again, I find it comforting that Jesus knows that same struggle.

Jesus' example here shows that sometimes we need to say, "Yes" to God whole heartedly, even when we know the outcome may bring pain.


Dear Lord,
Thank you for helping me in my weak places and showing me an example of accepting difficulty. Help me say, "Yes" to your will for my life.
Amen.

Jesus Endured

Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”
~ Matthew 26:39


Jesus knows the will of his Father yet he still asks for relief from the suffering he is about to endure. In the same breath, however, Jesus accepts his Father's will over his own.

What a stunning model for us as we go through trails and pain. What an amazing example of endurance.


Dear Lord,
Thank you for your example of endurance. It gives me hope and confidence that I can endure my own difficult circumstances with your help.
Amen.

Jesus Understands

Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”
~ Matthew 26:36-38


One of the things that strikes me about theses verses is that Jesus was open with his Father about his pain and sorrow. God wants us to do the same. I find it comforting that Jesus, fully God and fully man, went through difficult times. It means that he knows what I am going through.

Amazing! Jesus knows what I'm going through. Wow.


Dear Lord,
Thank you for going through so much. For me. It means so much to me to know that you understand my suffering. I'm overwhelmed by your love and devotion.
Amen.

Cupcake Dreamin'

You know how I gave up dessert for lent?

Well, Saturday I was looking online at fancy schmancy cupcakes to order once the fast is over. Amazing, scrumptious, and decadent cupcakes!

Chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry, oh my!

Saturday night I had a crazy dream about dessert. Serves me right for day dreamin' about cupcakes right before bed.

I was at some sort of church ladies function. I walked into the dining room and the table was covered with decadent desserts of all types. The hostess urged me to dig in and I obliged. It started with just a bite, and before I knew it I was shoving cupcakes and cookies and chocolate into my mouth as fast as I could chew.

Oh, it was good. Sinfully good.

In a split second, I remembered that I was fasting dessert.

Busted.

I had a choice to make. There I was, mouth full of sweets like a chipmunk and a treat in each hand. What was I going to do? I hesitated. I chewed as I thought, ‘If I blew it this bad I may as well keep going.’

Wow.

I kept going.

Ouch. I’m relieved that it was just a dream.

But isn’t that just like us as humans? We crave the wrong things. There is nothing wrong with eating a cupcake, but when I choose the cupcake over God I cross the line into sin. I joked last Friday about feeling like I was about to die of sugar deprivation. Sunday night I found myself asking, do I crave God that much? So much I would die without him? I should be.

It's time to restart checking my cravings. This morning. No more putting it off. When I feel that intense craving for food, I will pray that God helps me to crave HIM instead.

Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world - the cravings of sinful man, the lust of the eyes and the boasting of what he has and does - comes not from the Father but from the world.

~ 1 John 2:15-16

Prayer & Fasting

My husband and I start prayer and fasting for Lent today (along with so many others around the world). We are giving up desserts, and I am giving up caffeine. Yikes! We will certainly have to pray a lot to get through the next 40 days.

Have you ever fasted before? Here are some of the things I have learned over the years.

Fasting is personal.

Fasting is between us as individuals and God. There is nothing wrong with telling other people that we are fasting, but we should not do so in an attempt to make ourselves look good. Sometimes it is helpful to tell others what you are fasting in order to keep you more accountable. The key to a successful time of fasting is our attitude. We should be humble and repentant.

"When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

~ Matthew 6:16-18

Fasting can be from things besides food.

The range of things to fast is endless. I know people that have fasted smoking and were able to kick the addictive habit. I know others that have fasted TV. I have fasted shopping (other than for the necessities). Pray beforehand and ask God what you need to give up. He may end up asking you to make a non-food sacrifice.

Fasting is worship.

Prayer and fasting are both acts of worship. They bring us into a deeper relationship with God and develop a consistency of devotion.

Then she (Anna) lived as a widow to the age of eighty-four. She never left the Temple but stayed there day and night, worshiping God with fasting and prayer.
~ Luke 2:37

Fasting is beneficial.

• It does not change God. It changes us.
• It draws us closer to God.
• It helps us be more consistent in our spiritual lives.

                                                                                      

Are you fasting for Lent?

If so, what are you giving up?

Contentment: On Failure and Hope

I made my list of things to do in order to find contentment a mere week ago, and I’ve already failed. Miserably.

My brain goes places that I would not want anyone to see. I’m often a miserable grouch and take out my frustrations on other people. I think badly of others and struggle against letting those thoughts slip through my lips or my fingers as I type. I don’t like what is in my head. It is not honorable or lovely or kind.

I worry and pray (instead of just praying) – about my husband’s job, our finances, what our lives will look like in 10 years, and on and on. I stuff my face with comfort foods, longing for (temporary) relief, instead of relying solely on God’s peace to ease my fretting heart. His peace, offered freely to me for the taking.

Life is filled with suffering and I have to actively work to recognize my blessings. I have to purposefully focus on being thankful. My weak places are not pretty; instead they are riddled with selfish ugliness. Ouch. That is a hard thing to admit.

Are you wondering if I’m putting anything on my list into action? That is a very good question. Truth is, the answer is both yes and no. I have been recognizing when ugliness bubbles up and out of me. I am ashamed of it and struggle against it, with great effort. God has been speaking to my heart a great deal on this subject of late.

Here’s the thing, we all struggle with weak places. I think as long as we are, in fact, struggling against them, we can claim the following verse written by the apostle Paul.

So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. For the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you through Christ Jesus from the power of sin that leads to death.

~ Romans 8:1-2

Paul knew all about weak places. We tend to think of Paul as the guy that figured out the secret of contentment, but read what he said in the previous chapter:

I don’t understand myself at all, for I really want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do the very thing I hate.

~ Romans 7:15

Yeah, that sounds like me. A lot like me.

Are you thinking that same thing? We all struggle against our sinful nature. Even Paul did. But (and this is the amen part) Paul also says this:

So, dear brothers and sisters, you have no obligation whatsoever to do what your sinful nature urges you to do.

~ Romans 8: 12

I told you there would be an amen point.

Our sinful nature neither condemns us nor makes us obligated to obey.

We are free, because of the One to whom we belong.

There is no condemnation. Let those words soak into your heart for a minute. No condemnation. Jesus offers forgiveness, peace, and contentment to those who belong to him. Will you accept?

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This post is the 2nd in a series on contentment:
Part 1: The Secret of Contentment
Part 3: Contentment: On Endurance