Noise and Clamor

It often feels like my head is so crammed full with words and thoughts that I don't have clarity on anything. Nothing rises above the clamor. Some nights I lay in bed, my mind churning and chewing, wishing I could flip a switch and just turn my brain off!

This lack of clarity can make accomplishing much of anything difficult. I can't focus or concentrate. I can't keep my mind from flitting from one thought to the next like a hyperactive butterfly fluttering from flower to flower. (Can butterflies be hyperactive?)

I much prefer the days when my little brain is firing on all cylinders - plowing efficiently through work and multitasking with ease. I like checking things off lists - a sense of accomplishment with each check.

As I type this my mind keeps trying to recall the lyrics to the Steven Curtis Chapman song Be Still and Know. I look the lyrics up and these words speak to me now:

Be still oh restless soul of mine
Bow before the Prince of Peace
Let the noise and clamor cease

Restless.
Noise.
Clamor.

That has been me of late, restless with a mind full of noise and clamor. I suppose that has been me over the last year, which is why I haven't blogged as much. Too many words, thoughts, things, tasks, worries, lists, activities... Too. Much.

I long for peace. I long to be still. I long for clarity. Please Lord, quiet my soul.

I'm putting this out there, hoping to find I'm not alone. Do you have days (or weeks, or years) like this?

God's Endless Love

Today is Valentine's Day, a day to celebrate love for family and friends. I have a wonderful husband whom I love very much, but even more, I have a God with endless love for me. Only he can heal the broken places in our hearts.

I heard the following song on my way home today and was sturck by the beautiful way it expresses God's love for us. I simply cannot write it better, so I will let it speak for itself.


Savior to Me
Karrie Roberts

Before the break of that first dawn
You wrote the secrets of the world
And filled the ancient skies
With Your voice and light

Before the world began to spin
You knew the heart of broken men
And how to save our lives
With Your perfect sacrifice

What words could tell
What song could sing?

And bring
Glory to God above
Full of truth and endless love
He who is and was and always will be
I surrender to the one
Gentle and most powerful
Of all the things You are
You've chosen to be
A savior to me

You have made Your light to shine
Through the darkness of all time
And that light was life
In the face of Jesus Christ

You've caused a dawn within my soul
My heart no longer is my own
I want to praise You now
With every breath that You allow

And I sing glory to God almighty

Anchor me down

I have heard the following song, Anchor, numerous times but it struck me again this weekend on our way home from vacation. How many times have I said or thought these very things? Sometimes on purpose; sometimes subconsciously.

I’ve got this, Lord.

I don’t like where you are leading me.

That’s not what I want.

I know better than you.

And then…

What was I thinking, Jesus?

I don’t know anything!

Help me! Save me!

I’m overwhelmed and can’t do this on my own.

Sigh. I suppose this happens because I am human, right? It is what my nature wants to do. But I must strive daily to recognize my need for dependence on him.

Without God, I am nothing and can do nothing. With God, well, that is another story.

 

Anchor

Satellites and Sirens

You said, "Open your eyes." and,

I said I don't like surprises.

You said, "Surprise, you're up to your knees in the water and don't have a life vest."

I know, I know, I know, but don't worry,

'Cause I've got it figured out.

You said, "Jump in the boat, man."

I said no; you reach your hand.

You said, "The storms that will come will be more than enough and alone you cannot win.

You know, you know, without hope,

You'll only sink not swim."

And the current here is stronger now, than I remember.

And I'm crying for you to help.

Please save me.

When I feel like I am drifting away,

Sinking down, the sails aren't shipping today,

I'm about to lose my way,

You anchor, anchor me down.

Looking out, the skies are turning to gray,

All around the tide is pulling away,

Just about to lose my way,

You anchor, anchor me down.

You said, "Whatever happens,

Don't get caught in the rapids.

Hold on. "I'm over the edge and I'm reaching for help 'cause I'm paddling the deep end.

I know, I know, I know what you said:

That I'm in over my head.

You said I'm not alone here.

I said throw me a rope and,

I've had more than enough of the rain and the cold and I wanna give up and,

I know, I know, I know without hope,

I'll only sink not swim.

Infectious fun

This is my new favorite song! It is so funky and cool. The beats are infectious gospel joy wrapped in music. I have blared this in my car and can't help but dance away while behind the wheel. I probably look like a fool, but I really don't care. I know what my next CD purchase will be and I can't wait to look for it on Saturday.

I dare you to try and stay still through the whole song. I double dog dare you! How could you resist this funky gospel goodness? It's impossible, really. :)

You Set the Rhythm
New.WorldSon

I was unlucky in love
I didn’t know what a heart was
I felt it beating in my chest
But my best definition was a blood pump
So why did it hurt when I was alone?
Why does it feel like You’ve made it Your own?
You are the master key and my heart’s unlocked

I think it beats just for You
That’s all it knows how to do
I’ve made a brand new start
You set the rhythm of my heart
You set the rhythm now

I was a dangerous man
I was a ruthless pretender
I carried love like a sword
But You’re the one who made me surrender
And now my heart’s in a better place
My heart’s in a better place

I think it beats just for You
That’s all it knows how to do
I’ve made a brand new start
You set the rhythm of my heart
You set the rhythm now

Blue Sky

I listened to this song multiple times today in my car. It was just what I needed. Thank you, sweet Jesus, for telling me in no uncertain terms that you love me. You love me even when I am unlovable. ♥