Dear 14 Year Old Me

I'm linking up to Chatting at the Sky today (because of my friend Thelma - she made me) to write a letter to my teenage self. This should be fun?

14 years old - Freshman

Dear 14 year old me,

There are several things I would like to share with you. Take this stuff to heart. I know a lot of this will be hard for you to accept, but please try.

First I want to talk about your confidence, or lack thereof. You've already spent far too many years wondering if your friends like you as much as you like them. They do. Stop being so afraid of what everyone thinks of you. Most people genuinely like you, not just your good friends. When you see that group of kids that you want to join, don't be afraid to go over to them. They are not secretly wishing that you would go away. There will be some people that won’t like you, most of which will be outside your control. Don’t lose sleep over it. No one can actually be liked by everyone they ever meet. Not only do most people like you, you will eventually be one of the more popular kids in school. You won’t know it, but you will be.

Stop overanalyzing what everyone says to you by trying to figure out what they really meant. Stop overanalyzing everything you do and say. It will be ok. People will like you for who you are, but that means you have to actually learn to let go and be yourself. Stop holding on so tightly to your every thought and action that you can’t be who God made you to be.

Freshman again - that's me on the far left with the BIG hair

You are sweet and nice. And no, that doesn’t make you boring and it doesn’t mean you have no personality.

You are smart, even though you have never thought so. Tests make your brain cramp up and you don’t have a photographic memory, but you are still a smart chick.

You are funny. Let yourself go a little, and more people will notice.

Stand up for yourself – for what you believe and what you want. You are worth it. Don't let your insecurities paralyze you.

And, believe it or not, you are beautiful. You might not be as skinny as many girls around you, but you are not fat at all. Your butt is not huge. And your face does not look like a boy’s, no matter how that short boy haircut made you feel as a preteen. (By the way, super short hair will always make you feel less pretty, and the volume in your hair will never work with the super short styles you try. Don’t go there again.)

Sophomore

You will have a great time in high school, but improving your self-image will make it even better and will serve you well for years to come. Enjoy every moment. Take advantage of living overseas in your beloved Taiwan. You won't go back nearly as much as you hope.

Start taking better care of your teeth (floss, for crying out loud). Try running (even though you truly don’t think you can). Step away from the perms (why did you ever think that was so awesome). And for goodness sakes, clean your dorm room!

Junior

Once you have taken the Myers-Briggs personality test multiple times as an adult and scored precisely dead center on the extrovert and introvert line every time, you will finally realize that you are not one over the other - you are both. Lots of things will fall into place in your brain at that point, like how you can be shy and quiet when first meeting people yet have them wondering why they ever thought you quiet after getting to know you. You are both energized and drained by being with people and being by yourself. That does not make you weird, it’s just who you are.

Senior

Boys. You will not seriously date any boys in high school. Take a deep breath. It will be ok. You will also not seriously date anyone in college. Trust me, it will be ok! In 1999 you will meet a great man that will challenge what you thought you wanted in a guy - in good ways. He won’t be ready to date you for a couple years, but trust me, he’s worth the wait. In 2002 you will start dating that great guy, and will marry him in a year’s time. He will make you laugh like no one else ever has and will love you fiercely. He will be incredibly good for you, giving you deep roots you didn't know you needed. The two of you will have a number of bumps in the road, but you will get through them together.

College. This is a toughie. College is going to throw you for a number of big loops. You will think you are prepared, and in many ways you are, but being independent isn’t enough. You're going to start feeling lonely and misunderstood. The reverse culture shock back to the States will last longer than you expect. You will think you are ready, so it will take you by surprise. Stay involved in things on campus, even when you feel like withdrawing. It will be hard to find a church where you feel you belong. Keep trying. Ask for help when you need it and accept help when offered. Stay true to who you are - sweet, funny, and kind.

Spend a little more time figuring out what you want to do with your life, in case you don’t find that job traveling the world. Ask more questions – about careers, resumes, and interviewing. Take more computer classes. Don’t let your one terrible experience with that professor that couldn’t teach discourage you.

Unfortunately, I can't steer you away from every challenge; you will need many of those trials to become who God wants you to be. There will be many difficult days ahead of you, but God will be there to walk you through each one.

Love and no-more-perms,
Your 37 year old self