Do not lose heart

I came out of my depression in an explosion of spiritual growth.

I had struggled with my lonely despair for years until God abruptly delivered me. Ever since that day, he pushed me at breakneck speed toward a vibrant relationship with him. This deliverance occurred more than ten years ago. My life has ebbed and flowed a lot since then, including other struggles with sorrow.

With this partially in mind, and having chosen Growth for My One Word, I set off looking for a photo to use in my series button. I was drawn to the one I ended up choosing because of the wild unrestrained growth. I love the untamed beauty of it.

It reminded me of the last time Growth was my word for the year; when growth was so fast and relentless – so amazing – that it almost physically hurt.

I’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately.

Overwhelmed with everything! Work, ministries, finances, Rusty's job, spiritual growth, eating issues, being unable to lose more weight, struggling to go to the gym… The big and little stuff. All of it.

There is so much going on in my brain, I can’t keep up. I am having a hard time organizing my thoughts. Honestly, I’ve been struggling against feeling inundated with worry.

And I’m overwhelmed by how much God is growing me. While this is a good kind of overwhelmed, it is still rather scary and challenging.

God is pushing me way past my comfort zones. He is calling me to crave him, and only him. He is urging me to increase my knowledge of him and strengthen my faith. 

I read the following verse this week and felt my heart calm in the midst of the swirling doubt, fear, and noise.

Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart.

~ 2 Corinthians 4:1

This verse was like a soothing balm to my stressed out soul. God has given me ministries and he will not abandon them. He will not abandon my husband and me. He will not leave us to fend for ourselves.

He is with me as I struggle against the pressures of this world that threaten to undo me. God has it all under his control, in his more than capable hands, as I grow with abandon – wild and beautiful.

I need not worry or fear; God will equip me for what he has called me to do.